Blind Date

by Diana Patrick

Part I

My friend Alicia loves to set me up on blind dates.  She thinks it’s a game.   Alicia makes bets with her other friends about my dates.  Like, “I’ll bet you $5.00 that Jackie will want to see this guy again.”  Or, “How much do you want to bet that Jackie will end this date before dessert?”  She drives me crazy.  So, why do I keep letting her set me up?  Because each time, I think this will be the one who sweeps me off my feet.

I have a date this weekend with her friend Alex.  He is 10 years older than I am.  But that’s OK.  Maybe he will be more grown up than the other guys.  Alicia says he is tall, dark and handsome.  That probably means short, fat and ugly.  I never listen to anything she says.   Alicia likes to mess with my head.  She always tells me a few things that are true and a few that are not.  She thinks it’s more fun that way.

This will be my 17th blind date in the last year and a half.  I write in my journal about all my dates.  Eleven of these dates ended before dessert.  Two ended at my front door, because the guys were terrible kissers.  I dated three of them for several weeks, but none of them would grow up.  And number 17 only cared about one thing.  And no, it wasn’t sex.  It was his motorcycle!  Men and their toys!

Alex sounds perfect.  Of course, I don’t know if the parts that sound perfect are true or not.  Alex has a good job.  He works with Alicia doing some kind of computer stuff.  I hear that kind of job pays well.  He runs at least 2 miles every day.  Sometimes more.  Well, that’s what Alicia said.  She might really mean that he runs to McDonald’s every day to buy three hamburger combos.  He doesn’t smoke.  He hardly ever drinks.  He likes animals.  I hope that doesn’t mean he has 12 cats.  I hate cats.

Alex is picking me up at my house on Friday at 6:30.  Alicia says he drives an old school bus.  She thinks she’s funny.  I have so much to do before my date.  I need to get my nails done.  I need to buy a sexy dress.  I need to find my lucky pantyhose.   Oh, and I can’t forget to check for a criminal record.  You only make that mistake once.  I feel good about Alex though.  I think he might be the one.

Part II

Alicia called me at 8:30 Saturday morning.  I could have killed her.  She said she couldn’t stand it.  She just had to know about my date.  So I hung up on her.  Alex rolled over and said we needed to make coffee.  He said Alicia would call back.  He knows her well.  

The phone rang 30 seconds later, and I answered it.  She heard Alex whispering, and she started squealing into the phone.  “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it.  You invited him in last night.  You slept with him.  I just lost 50 bucks.  You never sleep with a guy after the first date.  What has gotten into you?  I knew you would like him, but this is too much!  Jackie?  Are you still there?” 

I was holding the phone away from my ear just a little.  Alex was listening, trying not to laugh.  I told her I was still there.  I told her she would get to hear everything, but not right this minute.  As soon as I said that, I knew it was a big mistake.  Alicia does not take “no” for an answer.  She said “Be right there,” and hung up.  I told Alex that Alicia was on her way.  He said he wasn’t surprised.

Ten minutes later, I opened the door.  Alicia was still in her pajamas.  She plopped down on the sofa.  “So, tell me all about it.”  Alex and I looked at each other and smiled.  



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